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Teen Dating Violence
Sometimes teens are in a relationship and they do not even realize that it is abusive. If you ever have ever found yourself wondering if your relationship (or a friend's relationship) is abusive, or something just does not seem quite right between you and your partner, please read on!
There is a lot of helpful information on this page about what the warning signs of an abusive relationship are, and how to get help.
Are you concerned about your relationship, but not sure if it is abusive?
Has your partner ever...
- Restricted what you can wear in public?
- Told you who you hang out with and told you how much time you can spend with them?
- Demanded sex, even when you didn't feel like it, or refused to use a condom or other protection against pregnancy and STIs?
- Told you they will share private or secret or embarrassing details about you (whether they are truths or lies) in order to get you to do something you don’t want to do?
- Called you awful names that you have asked them to stop calling you?
- Embarrassed you publicly or privately, including spreading rumors?
- Kept track of everything you do, including through texting or computer?
- Blamed you when they are mean to you, telling you it's your fault because you made them so mad?
- Threatened to harm you, or threatened to harm themselves if you ever leave them?
Nobody deserves to be abused, no matter what! Please: seek support from a trusted adult in your lie, such as a school social worker or guidance counselor, nurse, doctor, parent or role model – and ask them to support you, by helping you consider your options for creating a safe and healthy and happy relationship. Sometimes you may decide that your safest, healthiest option is to end the relationship.
Am I abusive? Do you ever...
- Tell your partner who they can talk to or hang out with?
- Call your partner names, criticize them, or embarrass them in front of others?
- Force your partner into doing something they don't want to do?
- Make your partner feel guilty if they don't do what you want them to do?
- Interfere with your partner's work, or school work?
- Prevent your partner from seeing their friends and family?
- Follow your partner when they are not with you?
- Check up on your partner a lot: listen in on their phone calls, frequently ask where they have been, call frequently to check up on them, or check the mileage on their car?
- Blame your partner for everything?
- Say that your partner's concerns and fears are not real or not important?
- Prevent your partner from leaving by blocking the doorway or holding on to them?
- Push, hit, or shove your partner?
- Threaten to hurt or kill yourself if your partner leaves you?
- Force your partner to have sex when they don't really want to?
- Damage or destroy your partner's possessions?
- Threaten to harm your partner, their family, friends or pets?
- Force your partner to use drugs, including alcohol?
- Threaten to expose your partner's "secrets"?
- Threaten your partner if they should tell anyone about the abuse?
- Insist that they are flirting or are involved with someone else even though they deny it?
Treating your partner in the above ways is harmful to them, to the relationship, and to you. Please: reach out to an adult you trust, such as your school social worker or guidance counselor, a therapist, doctor, parent or role model you trust. Ask them to help you work on strategies to stop being abusive. This is hard work but it is worth it!
